Blunderlands: Thou Shalt Not Steal at TIFF 2024

Directed by: Dylan River

Cast: Noah Taylor, Miranda Otto, Will McDonald, Sherry-Lee Watson

Disclaimer: This is a review of the first three episodes of Australian writer/director Dylan River’s upcoming dark comedy 8-episode miniseries Thou Shalt Not Steal, which TIFF screened on September 9th.

The TIFF website does not mention that the screening was three episodes. Turning television into a quality cinema experience is more than possible. You just need the pacing on point. These episodes were stitched so lazily that the first two episodes' end credits and company logos stayed in the cut. Pacing? Never heard of it. I was sitting there hoping a “next episode” button would pop in the bottom right of the Scotiabank Theatre screen, but none came. Netflix offers a plan with ads. Why didn’t they include commercials between each episode to capture the streaming experience? The downtime helped me realize how little I enjoyed each episode, but that’s getting ahead of myself. 

Set in the 1980s Australian outback, Thou Shalt Not Steal follows Aboriginal teenage delinquent Robyn (Sherry-Lee Watson) as she escapes juvie to embark on a road trip with a conman preacher’s son, Gidge (Will McDonald), to learn her family’s secrets. (Literally) hot on their heels are a prostitute/taxi driver, Maxine (Miranda Otto), and Gidge’s father (Noah Taylor). It is an ugly world. Most everyone is mean or stupid or both. None of the archetypal main characters are remotely likable or halfway interesting. Gidge’s whole thing is that he’s a loser. Robyn has an attitude and problems with authority. Maxine is the femme fatale archetype. Most of the humour comes from Gidge’s father being pathetic and gross. Kudos to the set designers—the inside of his RV reeked of white trash environmental storytelling. The technical aspects were solid—good cinematography. Music choices fit the desert setting well. The actors, particularly Watson, did their best with the material. I appreciated the Aboriginal background characters more than the main cast. 

Before the screening, director Dylan River told us not to be afraid to laugh for political correctness' sake, which was unnecessary. I’m not going to judge what people find funny. Everyone’s allowed a little toilet humour. The black comedy works better than the piss jokes. I only laughed once during the mercifully brief 70-minute screening, but others clearly had a good time. Your mileage will vary. I was reluctant to do a review because this is less than half of the complete story, and I have no interest in finishing it. Many great shows start on the wrong foot, but Thou Shalt Not Steal takes a spot at one of the world’s most prestigious film festivals. Other projects lost that spot, so people could pay to watch end credits. There should be higher standards. The scene that got the audience rolling was just a premature ejaculation. I thought it was as funny as reading “premature ejaculation” in a film review. If you liked the Borderlands games’ humour, you’ll probably like this show when it releases on Stan on October 17.